Poem: 'I Have Fantasies Of Balling A Female Gorilla Or Other Large Ape'

‘I HAVE FANTASIES 

OF BALLING 

A FEMALE GORILLA 

OR OTHER LARGE APE’ 

                     (Summer 1958, Beverley, East Yorkshire) 

luminous
billboard flags
erotic collages
on pre-pubic eyes,
ripped poster Pop Art chic
at the corner Kino beneath
grainy-grey celluloid sky:
‘ATTACK OF THE 50ft WOMAN’
overlays ‘GODZILLA’ –
torn strips mix, merge,
flesh, flash, sweat & scales,
bestial copulations rag & blow,
reptilian strange & hugely dwarfing.
A drip-feed of fantasy for months,
mauled by warring females,
and me barely penis-size,
gripped quivering in vast paw,
devoured whole in
moist pulsating caves of flesh
till my head explodes in
rip-tides of celluloid
flash-frame lights that come up
slow through the crowded
auditorium…

 …& now, 1987,
drunk, wired & wretched,
fix on the small-screen late show,
& she’s still 50ft but
barely penis-size
& Godzilla’s a cartoon.
But then again –
I’m not feeling too well either.
Celluloid
fades…